Theres some spirituality that goes along with family relationships, but in this case, each individual serves a different purpose, she says. This will be the beginning of your Christian journey together, and you'll offer prayer and encouragement as your godchild grows and looks forward to First Communion and Confirmation. With great power comes great responsibility, The Duke and Duchess of Sussex step out for Hollywood date night at exclusive private members club as Harry announces major live event, In Queen Margrethe II of Denmarks last interview before her extensive surgery, she spoke of the royal title drama and Crown Prince Frederiks future on the throne, The Princess of Wales wears delicate brooch with touching connection to the late Queen. Read: Baptists, just without the baptisms, By the fifth century, godparents were fairly common in western Europe, says Guido Alfani, an economic-history professor at Bocconi University, in Milan, who studies the role of godparents throughout history. And, when I'm elderly, I expect my role as godparent will be to continually have them in my prayers. Before you go, check out one of these awesome articles written by our wonderful Mom Advice Line contributors: Emily Anderson is a mother of three children, all under the age of 10. While the requirements may vary from church to church, generally speaking, it is not a requirement for a godparent to be married. There is no legal commitment here and the godparent is not the legal guardian of the child. Privacy Policy |Terms of service |Subscription terms |Your ad choices |Cookie Settings |California Privacy Rights |About Us |Contact Newsday |Reprints & permissions |Advertise with Newsday |Help. As a godparent, it is also a responsibility to be present as a mentor and person who desires to be present in a childs life. you call them a godparent or a witness, they are fulfilling the same roles. If parents decide that godparents should assume care in their permanent absence, legal documents stating so must be drawn up, as they would be with any custody arrangement. Godparents should be about making time for their godchild and about the spiritual goods in his life. The Bible instructs us to, Start children off on the way they should go, and even when they are old they will not turn from it (Proverbs 22:6). Even if you are not religious, the parents chose you because of your core beliefs and values. a godparent in the Catholic Church, the godparent (if married) must have been It never ends. You can help with this by: Much like First Communion, there arent specific rules for godparents to follow for Confirmation. The musician Helen Le says she was surrounded by Christian principles in Mississippi, where she grew up. Her brother, Chris, and his wife, Tara, had just welcomed their first child in May and wanted to name Kaeley godmother. Maybe, at times, he will not be open to such a relationship, but be sure that he knows that you are open to that conversation. People move, change jobs, and travel. Growing up in a large Catholic family in Bryn Athyn, Pennsylvania, Clay was accustomed to family members serving as godparents for one another and offering support as they received sacraments such as communion and confirmation. Baffling if the parents are tricky or super-religious or and this happens surprisingly often jealous of your other godchildren. This is not to require perfection of the godparent, but is something to keep in mind when interacting with the child to provide an authentic, sincere, real, and honest way of living in what it looks like to follow Christ daily. Mordecai did not act only as a guardian to Esther in providing housing and food, but spiritually as a godfather to her. WebThe Church of England, the mother Church of the Anglican Communion, retained godparents in baptism, formally removing the marriage barriers in 1540, but the issue of the role and status of godparents continued to be debated in the English Church. If they seem too daunting, its all right to say no. A few ideas include: Personalized First Communion Cross Outside of that, the expenses of being a godparent are minimal. Kaeley Van Zoren recently faced a line of questioning about her religious beliefs over dinner. godparents who are married do not need to be married to each other. There are issues such as location, where the relationship remains alive in theory, but they lose touch. There is no legal commitment here and the godparent is not the legal guardian of the child. Youre going to be there not only emotionally, but monetarily., But the religious aspects of godparenting are still central for some families. Mordecai had taken her as his own daughter when her father and mother died.. Parents should not feel obligated to select a favorite family member or friend; rather, they ought to seek partners who will join with them in this earthly pilgrimage to help their child attain heaven. As such, you will have no rights of guardianship over your godchild. When godparenting goes right, it's love without the worry, it's rapport without the rows, it's joyful and spiritual fulfilment and someone to visit you in your dotage. Initially, godparents were common in the Catholic, Orthodox and Anglican churches. At first, the function of a godparent is to attend the baptism. For many Christians, the role is one of honor and tradition. People move, change jobs, and travel. Because babies cant speak and affirm their religious upbringing, sponsors would renounce the devil on behalf of their godchildren. WebDo my duties as a Godparent ever end? But why am I so favored, that the mother of my Lord should come to me? Unless you're having an affair with one of the parents, in which case you are excused and can immediately drop all responsibility. While this is a religious event, it doesnt mean that your role as a godparent stops at the boundary between theology and the secular world. For some parents, religion may not even be the determining factor. You may be the competitive sort, in which case go vulgar. The duties of a godparent are simple: be holy so that you may help lead your godchild into holiness. Technically, the end of your role comes after confirmation, when the godchild is deemed old enough to fend for itself. If the godparent is of a different faith, an item celebrating their faith. Keep it simple if money is an issue. As Attila the Hun and his hordes swept toward Paris, St. Genevieve encouraged the people to pray and do penance. Because in the end its about whats best for the child. Indeed, not only does Judaism stress personal responsibility for study, education and ethical inquiry, but also places that permanent obligation firmly on the entire community. In truth, all of us should be unofficial godparents. Whether youre married yourself, you can show your godchild the importance of matrimony within the Catholic faith. It is a little more vague nowadays. It is the same with the godparent. Often a child may feel more comfortable sharing about some aspects of their lives they would not share with their parents. By clicking Sign up, you agree to our privacy policy. The Rev. Community extends beyond a churchs walls. Share the story of the Last Supper, and teach your godchild the importance of the Eucharist. He tries to lead by example, he says, to guide the kids toward righteousness. WebYour role as a godparent begins at the baptism. Now the godmother to her godmothers 3-year-oldshe calls it the god-chain,McDermott said the modern godparent-godchild relationship isnt necessary, but is not without its benefits, a special ticket into the moments of a loved ones life that you otherwise might have missed., Read: How male theologians ruined parenting. Anyone can petition for custody in the event of a need for temporary or permanent custody. I don't think that one's responsibilities as a godparent ever officially end. Baptized Part of His Flock Lamb The role of the godparent has evolved alongside those trends: What was once an adult tasked with shepherding a child toward a life of faith has transitioned into a secular role model providing emotional, practical, and even financial support. How, then, can the godparents best carry out these duties? married in the Catholic Church. After all, you are becoming part of the childs memories. As the Code of Canon Law puts it: In so far as possible, a person being baptized is to be assigned a If the baptism is Catholic, the answer is no. For the best experience on our site, be sure to turn on Javascript in your browser. You may fall out with your godchild's parents, which is exactly what happened - very publicly - between Anna Ford and Martin Amis in 2010. A priest or minister may also appoint someone suitable if need be. But as your relationship grows with your godchild, you may choose to do some activities together or assist in other ways as your finances dictate. For parents, after a point, their responsibilities to their children change. Some Christian faiths do not require godparents to be of different genders. Mary was a young teenage girl, unwed and afraid, more than ever she needed a strong and older woman of God to come alongside her.Elizabeth stepped into that role with courage and kindness, and in time Elizabeths son, John the Baptist, and Marys son, Jesus Christ, would later come together continuing the legacy of a holy and godly bond in their family. In todays world, the definition of being a godparent has evolved. The role of godparent carried a certain prestige. To Kaeley, the term godparent is a formalityshes not entirely sure who her own godparents are, so they obviously have not mentored me very much, she says. But it sometimes has been defined as the person who would care for the child if something happens to the parents. At the baptism youll commit the child to God and the Catholic faith. So, for all godparents and godparents-to-be out there: be intentional. It is widely practiced and honored in many Protestant branches of the church. He has to be the supportive pillar for the child and must show keenness and interest in the upbringing of the child. Those duties also included guiding the child in his or her faith. Meshing faith-based beliefs and secular life isnt always easy. But, much like sex at the start, you do not yet know if the proceedings are guaranteed to be a roaring success. The good news is there are no specific godparent duties during First Communion, so you have the freedom to determine how you can be most beneficial. Plain $39.95 | Personalized $52.95. Be sure to ask those questions in the preparations leading up to the baptism. As with the case of St. Genevieve, there is a tradition that godparents will raise the child if the parents die. In those instances, they still remain the godparent. When a child is born, you want them to be part of something, she says. That's the deal. Together a mother and father should choose the godparents that are best for their child, not ones out of pressure or convenience. The advice I received from Alvin always carried a little extra weight because I knew that he had successfully navigated the trials of sports teams, high school, and summer job searches, but he was still young enough to be cool, McDermott told me in an email. So, what does this mean for you? Because this is a position of responsibility, honor, and trust. What are the duties of the godparents? A godparent serves God in developing a close-knit relationship with the child, encouraging through a Christian light whenever possible. You may stay in contact forever. This role is about your godchild and the faith his or her parents are placing in you. That common ground can be unifying not only in personal relationships but to our communities as a whole. Essentially, a godparent is a person who aids and assists in the spiritual development of a child (sometimes an adult convert who is a child in the faith). While the religious aspects of the baptism may not recognize you, it will solidify the familys choice in you as a godparent. We are told in Luke 1:39, At that time Mary got ready and hurried to a town in the hill country of Judea, where she entered Zechariahs home and greeted Elizabeth. A godparent serves God in developing a close-knit relationship with the child, encouraging through a Christian light whenever possible. Your selecting them is a testament to your faith in them as a person, and as a person that you will entrust part of your childs life with. As with the case of St. Genevieve, there is a tradition that godparents will raise the child if the parents die. Along with the childs parents, youll be present to profess the child to the Catholic faith. No matter how it is defined, when does this big responsibility end? You'll have to buy 'tasteful' (expensive) presents and - be warned - you will be expected to divide your estate equally among them all. Even as a priest, I am a godparent to my oldest nephew, but had someone stand in as proxy for the ceremony because I also was conducting the ceremony. Choosing a godparent is not an easy task, but it is one of consequence. WebGodparents play a special role in the life of the child. Be a spiritual mentor. But over the past half century, American religious views have changed. While planning her sons bris, a Jewish circumcision ceremony that takes place eight days after a baby boy is born, Elana Gartner was told by the professionals performing it to select godparents. Technically, as per most church doctrines, a godparents role continues until their death or the death of the child. And if you cant commit to be a godparent, youre making the responsible decision in declining the honor. Its by no means a light undertaking when considered. The duties of a godparent are simple: be holy so that you may help lead your godchild into holiness. For Confirmation, the sponsors are chosen by the one that is undertaking the Sacrament of Confirmation themselves. As Americans become less religious, some families are still looking for a mentor for their kids, albeit not a spiritual one. Cash is king. The godparents purpose is to help the child attain heaven. They should always keep in mind, however, that like Lutetia, the godchild to whom God has entrusted them is destined to become a saint. You may find that the religious celebrants welcome you and your partner or spouse with enthusiasm. In the modern baptism of an infant or child, the godparent or godparents make a profession of faith for the person being baptized (the godchild) and assume an obligation to serve as proxies for the parents if the parents either are unable or neglect to provide for the religious training of the child, in fulfillment of baptismal promises. The minimum age for a godparent in the Catholic Church is sixteen Rather than being an emblematic role, godparents in the early Catholic Church assumed the roles of the parents in their absence. Instead, focus on the time aspect of the relationship. For the best experience on our site, be sure to turn on Javascript in your browser. What does it mean to be a godparent? The bigger the family, the bigger the network.. Asking the Lord who His choice of godparent for your new little blessing is, or asking Him to make it apparent to your own heart who will take on the role well. Lastly, would you trust your child to learn and grow from their influence? You may serve in the role alone, or the child may have two godparents. Sometimes, faith isnt the only requirement. But there will be some costs. Let the Lord press in your heart and be open to what He may inspire you to intentionally connect with your godchild. Historically, it held more social weight than spiritual, says Bernadette Sweetman, a postdoctoral researcher in adult religious education and faith development at Dublin City University. Teaching your godchild how to represent Catholic ideals in day-to-day life, showing him or her ways you do this yourself. From the time of baptism, godparents help guide their godchilds Christian beliefs. Copyright 2023 Newsday. As a godparent, it is typical to perhaps bring a small gift to the baptism. Choose items of intrinsic value to the parents and your godchild. By the time the child comes of age and can read such works with interest, he will have a whole library. Yes. Also pray that the Lord will guide and direct you in how to pray for and be there for the child that day. WebThe role of a godparent doesn't end with the ceremony. Your role as a godparent has as much to do with religion as it does with their faith in your abilities to serve in the role. And always be thankful for your godparents support and love. Youll be a trusted source of information and support as your godchild grows. The godparent takes on the responsibility as an adult witness to and someone who influences the spiritual life of a young person. During a brit (circumcision ceremony), the child is placed on the lap of an elder or other individual, known as the sandak. PS. Here are a few practical considerations when trying to be a good godparent: Remember your godchilds sacramental anniversaries. The godparent is supposed to look after them and make sure they're raised in the church properly. A godparents responsibilities dont necessarily change. Because Kaeley doesnt consider herself to be a practicing member of the same religion as us, we wanted to double check with our priest.. Have they sought to have a deeper relationship with the Lord, even in their own imperfections and flaws? Imagine a child going to college with a robust collection of spiritual workseach one inscribed as a memento of what is truly important in life. After all, the reason for the celebration is for the well-being of your godchild. And as it goes, it is also a representation of the openness of your godchilds parents. And just as godparents arent required to give anything other than their most valuable assetslove and timeto their godchild, parents as well arent required to gift items to godparents. They are not just special on the day but special for a childs life, even when they are grown-up themselves. This young woman, who was also known as Esther, had a lovely figure and was beautiful. Simply being asked to take on the role of godparent does not mean one automatically takes over custody of a child. These are the ideals sought in a godparent regardless of doctrine. If your godchild's parents are heading for divorce, have the small, baffled child to stay. Regardless of parental choice for godparents, always keep in mind the religious preferences involved. You might have bonded by then, though - in which case, bravo! And the appointment could be strategic. Technically, the end of your role comes after confirmation, when the godchild is deemed old enough to fend for itself. Then you can help the child cultivate a devotion by remembering the patronal feast day alongside the sacramental anniversaries and providing gifts that foster a relationship between the child and his patron. It is a nod to the requirements of their faith and the selection of that person they feel best suited to be their childs godparent. The term godparent never appears in the Bibletheologians suggest the term originated around the time that infant baptism came into practicebut it is rooted in cultural tradition. When Mary is told she has been chosen by God to carry the Savior she is suddenly faced with a holy and spiritual call that no one had ever faced before, nor will anyone face again in a virgin conception. Her role just changes. Shakarra McGuire, who works in communications for a nonprofit in Washington, D.C., is godmother to three of her friends children, who range in age from 1 to 8 years old. WebThe role of a godparent Godparents are really special. Do not take sides. Take seriously the things of God. 'You Raise Me Up' Duet Earns A Standing Ovation From The Judges, 7 Tests to See if Your Worship Is Truly Christian or Pagan, 3 Bad Church Approaches to Good Money Stewardship, 5 Critical Rules to Teach Your Kids to Help Them Stay Safe, 4 Things You Should Know about Jesus Revolution, Jesus on Adultery: Its More Controversial Than You Think, This site is a proud member of the Salem Web Network, a subsidiary of, Copyright 2023, Crosswalk.com. One example would be Mordecai in the book of Esther. Those are gifts you would have purchased anyway. Have you been asked because you're a power godparent, la Tony Blair or Sir Elton John? Its an ideological question at best. What in your beliefs matches with the godchilds? Helping the young man or woman make godly and wise decisions in their own path, and knowing that their godparent supports them fully is a great gift. Shop our entire collection of baptismal gifts. In some way, it is the community at large that assumes the role of godparent. And may the child, the parents, and you all work together to be holy and attain heaven. The role of godparents is a high honor given to a man and a woman after the birth of a child. That is a high standard to maintain. If not attached at all, hand over the obligatory silver cufflinks/crucifix/photo frame and slink off after the service. Why? They help the child know they are a beloved child of God, listen to and pray for them, and celebrate the anniversary of their baptism. Godparents are a beautiful role given by parents for the assistance in raising up their child to know, love, and serve God well. Your role will be to foster your godchilds experience in his or her faith within the backdrop of a larger community. If you want to know about her journey as a blogger, check out out her personal digital journal or her post about failing her way to blogging success. In general, I try to instill into adults that the whole family, even older brothers and sisters, have a responsibility to younger ones. Its a life-long commitment which will involve special times and treats, but much more as well. If you sack the kid, then you're heartless and ruthless. He was first named godfather at 16 when his first godkidhis cousin, now 22was born. Finally, dont fret over religion. While each church may have slight differences in the ceremony, most baptisms involving infants are close to identical. Thats part of what the godparent relationship means, Flinn says. But sometimes a godparent cannot continue in his or her duties. I actually have people who come in and for one reason or another want to know if they can have new godparents. When Elizabeth heard Marys greeting, the baby leaped in her womb, and Elizabeth was filled with the Holy Spirit. You should continue praying with and for your godchild and serve as a model for Catholicism as his or her family grows. Having served as a lifelong mentor, marriage is a great time to reflect on your time together and the lessons you have taught each other. Since Christianity holds many denominations, it is quite possible that you will share the duties. There is no legal dimension to godparents, Sweetman says. Rather than a godparent's responsibility ending, it just changes. Its become more like a stand-in parent versus, This is what we believe, Le says, despite Christianitys cultural stronghold in parts of the South. Humans are sensory animals. In some instances, yes. Much of a childs perspective of Christianity will come from how they see other Christians living, this includes godparents. Roles of a godparent fundamentally require helping the child in their spiritual journey, but it does not stop there. The character is often central to the story, and serves as a moral compass and mentor. Whether or not your faith will be a consideration has more to do with the faith of the parents and your relationship with them. Until the 17th century, parents frequently chose godparents who were unrelated to the infant to create a community outside of family. Furthermore, they have years of experience and wisdom lacking in younger godparents. A few practical considerations when trying to be a roaring success the familys choice in you as model. 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